Wednesday, December 23, 2009

From our research department...



Excerpted from 5 Behaviors of Manipulative People, by Brett Blumenthal:

Many of us like to think the best of people.  We like to think that they shoot straight and are forthright in their intentions.  We also like to believe that they will ask for what they want and not resort to crazy tactics to get it.  Unfortunately, however, there are times when we come across those who will do whatever it takes to get what they want…
  1. Buttering You Up: To get their way, manipulators will often make you feel good so that they can then ask you to do something that they want.  The person may first compliment you or tell you what a wonderful job you did on something.  Making you feel good will, in their mind, make it difficult for you to say no…after all, you wouldn’t want to disappoint them or give them reason to think you didn’t deserve the compliment in the first place.
  2. Guilt: This doesn’t only pertain to Catholics and Jewish Mothers; guilt trips have been a successful manipulation tactic for centuries.  The saddest part of this strategy is that the victims of this tactic succumb to the manipulators’ demands because they feel they HAVE to, not because they WANT to.  
  3. Broken Record: Probably the most obvious of formats is the broken record tactic.  If a person asks you enough or pushes their agenda enough…constantly repeating the question or request over and over again…in slightly different ways, the victim will inevitably give in and give them what they want.  Oye!  
  4. Selective Memory: This one gets me the most.  You swear you have a conversation about a plan and everyone is on the same page, and then one day, the manipulator pretends to remember the conversation completely differently, if at all.  
  5. Bullying: If a person doesn’t get their way, they make you out to look or feel like the bad guy…like you are the wrong one. 

5 comments:

Jordan said...

Guilty as charged, but then I'm a bit of a mea-culpa-head.

Henry Gould said...

6. Typologizing the Bad People.

Don Share said...

Yes, indeed, Henry! I hate it when people do that to me, for sure...

Henry Gould said...

then there's

7. One-upping in comment threads (!)

- almost makes you want to quit smoking & driving & doing loon calls at the same time!

Jordan said...

I smell a chapbook